Bye Bye Ovaries

I’ve been so consumed with recovering from spinal surgery and radiation that I didn’t give much thought to the smaller surgery I’m having this week called a salpingo oophorectomy. In english that means removal of the fallopian tubes and ovaries. All the doctors have said, “Don’t worry, you have been through much bigger surgeries, this one is quick and will seem easy”. Easy to call it easy when you aren’t the one having the surgery! ha! However I haven’t really worried. I’ve been told that getting this surgery will drastically reduce my chances of getting ovarian cancer and that sounds great to me.  What I didn’t really look at was the way I feel about losing my ovaries forever. I’ve been on a drug that puts them to sleep, but having them removed is different. Now on the eve of this surgery I feel like I need to say goodbye to them. Kinda weird, but true.

I want to thank them for helping me make my two beautiful daughters. They did the job they were supposed to do and I feel very lucky for that. I wonder how I will feel when they are gone?

Technically I will be pushed into early menopause with  hot flashes, more chance of osteoporosis, mood swings and the list goes on.  But I wonder how I will feel with such an important part of my female anatomy gone? I actually think I will miss them more than my boobs. I was able to have reconstruction for the boobs and although they are not the same as the real thing it is still something.  There will be nothing to replace my ovaries and all the important hormones they carried. I also will not be able to have any more children. My hubby and I don’t want any more kids but there is something to be said about having the choice versus having that choice taken away from you completely.

So today I thank my body for sticking with me through all that my treatment has put her through. There have been many changes in the past few years. She is a trooper and I love her. I will be sad to loose my ovaries but if it means I can be around loving life for  many more years to come then I will take it. I’ll let you know how it goes and what it feels like to be in menopause at 36.

Oh and one last thing – I know it sounds weird but take a moment to thank your body for all it has been through in your lifetime. Everyone has their own ‘stuff’ and we all go through different ups and downs with our bodies. Never take it for granted. Taking time to thank your body is  important to continuous healing and acceptance. She is going to be with you for the long haul so might as well make friends.

Jasmin xo

 

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